Sunday, March 2, 2008

the japanese plan to override the world with robots

Ok, i got bored again.
So i searched the web for the latest and greatest news.
Today's topic is robots. And not just any robots. Japanese robots.
We all know that Japan has been intrigued by robots for a while and that they have been creating incredible and unnecessary robots. About a year ago, Japan made a robot that looks like a real person, but didn't move like a real person would. Unless you like to pop and lock it with every slight move you make. This particular robot could communicate though, in about 40 languages. Then there was a robot that would mimic the movements of a person. There was a robot like this that was created to look exactly like a japanese man. They really did look the same! This robot was programmed to copy ever move this man made. And they were both seated in a japanese airport (gosh these japanese are very self-centered. only thinking of themselves) and the robot would do everything that the man did. And people were asked to tell which one was a robot and which one was a real person. Most people got it wrong and said that the real man was the robot.
Anyways, Japan currently has an aging population, and is in need of workers. What was Japan to do? Exactly what they have been killing all of their time with of course! Build some robots! These are not the factory line, making cars robots. These robots look like real people and will respond to facial expressions and more just like a real person would do. Kinda creepy. There is one particular robot. It has been named Kansei, or "sensibility". This robot will respond to words with actions. For instance, if you say "war" in front of Kansei, it will quiver in disgust and fear. Now, if you say "love", Kansei smiles. Awww. How unreal!
The robot masterminds who are so bored with life that they must create unreal beings to live among us plan on developing these robots to read, understand, and feel emotions just like real people do.
Japan is thought of being the most technologically advanced. No they are not, we just care about more important things. Like becoming tyrants and overriding the government of other countries and forcing them to use democracy. Just like we do in America. Where we pick special people frome each state to vote for us, and we don't know anything about them. But to get back on topic, Japan is already using robots in place of real people for many jobs. A few examples are working in factories (i wonder why nobody wants that job), making sushi (come on, who doesn't want to roll up veggies with fish and rice in seaweed?), planting rice (a great way to kill time in the sun and get skin cancer), and tending paddies (i think that has to do with the rice).
There are also robots that are receptionists (now you have to deal with unruly robots instead of real people), they vaccuum offices (who doesnt want that job), and spoon-feeding the elderly. Okay, why don't real people take these jobs? Sounds like a lot of fun, eh? The real problem isn't the aging population but instead that the job options suck in Japan. Change the jobs, more people will work.
Oh, but there are more robot jobs! They serve tea, greet company guests, and chatter a lot at public technology displays. Why not have them discuss stem cell research? It is an important topic among robots and other humanoids.
But not all robots are humanoids! The Paro is a fluffy robot seal (yeah, there are so many fluffy seals) that is designed to comfort lonely people (how lonely are the people to actually make these things?). Paro opens and closes its eyes and it moves its flippers.
I would love to push jokes at the japanese, but i have better ways to waste my time

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